I love New York

There’s no bones about it. New York is the greatest city on Earth. If you’ve never been, you have to visit. But be sure to follow these tips so you can have the best experience. Really, it’s not a scary place.

DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING: Walk four abreast holding hands; Congregate around busy street corners, hang around stairways or active doorways; Do not clutter up Grand Central Station during rush-hour (8-9 and 5-6) — its much nicer around 11am;

Don’t forget the rules of the subway, either.

And while you’re there, go see the 7:30 show of ASSSSCAT 3000 Sunday nights at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theater. It’s a great improv show done by many Saturday Night Live-related people, like Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz and Jack McBrayer (Kenneth from 30 Rock). Tickets are $8 for the 7:30 show. They can be reserved ahead, and there is a standby line. There is a 9:30 show which is free, but tickets can’t be reserved. It’s really one of the best hours you can spend in New York. If you’re not going to be in town on Sunday, they have shows every night of the week.